Sunday, 29 December 2013

New Year Resolutions

Yet another new year. A fresh start. New beginnings. People use the 31st of December to cleanse themselves of the past, to wipe their slate clean, and to make new vows and resolve to stick to them. It’s like taking a dip in the Ganga river. One leaves behind the old and sheds off all old sins and begins their life anew. In my opinion it’s ok to move forward and not look back, provided you take responsibility for your actions and don’t end up saying “Oh it was all 2012’s fault. That wasn’t me!”

I have given this whole ‘making resolutions’ some real thought. The longest anyone goes to sticking to his or her rules is 15 days, at the most. Whether it is to quit smoking, eat less, exercise daily, etc. Things that you had probably NEVER done that entire year and thought by some miracle you have been reborn with the renewed strength to carry out your new goals. Nonsense! You end up making the same resolutions at the end of that very year!

So what’s the solution? I would say make realistic resolutions. Set realistic goals that you know you can achieve without berating yourself for failing at something you knew was inevitably going to happen. I would also say set goals for the betterment of others, not just yourself. Not “I will be more on time.” “I will not gossip.” “I, I, I!” 

By vowing to contribute to a charitable institution, or helping the poor, or giving back to society in some small minuscule way, you are setting an invisible goal for yourself- being selfless. Being a better person by thinking about others. I am no one to preach! I am as guilty of being the selfish one. But yes, after a lot of self realization I will add this to my list of ‘Good things for 2014’ and will ensure I follow through with it, even if it takes me a whole year!

As we can see around us, the world itself is moving in the direction of self realization and cleansing. When things are at their worst, it only means they will get better. The evil is being sought out and removed, and at least in our country India we’re seeing more unity amongst the people. There is more goodness and strength. People are now realizing that individual actions make an impact.

Ok so now I’m digressing and need to come back to our topic of discussion. What New Year resolutions really are and what should they comprise of?

As I mentioned before, it’s a second chance to mend our ways and leave behind the mistakes of the past year, in hope that we can correct them and move forward. All in the betterment of ourselves, and I hope for our planet too.

My 2013 resolutions looked something like this:

1. Take people at face value
2. Re-evaluate my relationships with people and what to expect
3. Operate from a place of love
4. Keep secrets
5. Don't publicise crushes
6. Don't discuss other people's lives
7. Don't talk about something before it happens
8. Be more attentive when someone is talking to me
9. Be aware, even when inebriated. So you don't need to apologize for anything the next day
10. Accept that you are not in control of everything & there are external factors in play.

The funny thing is I haven’t been able to stick to even one! Which made me re-think that I need to make fewer and more realistic ones to start off my year. And then keep adding to the list as I master the initial ones. That way you don’t feel like a failure and you actually accomplish what you’ve set out to do!

So my 2014 resolutions go something like this:

1. Better time management
2. Don’t just ‘try’. DO!

I figured that’s a good enough start to anything that one would want to accomplish at the start of the year.

Since I don’t smoke, that's already an accomplishment! I debated giving up non-vegetarian food, but I realized it was a highly unrealistic goal! Better to take baby steps and go off meat for 2 days a week. Achieving the smallest goals gives you the greatest sense of accomplishment. Setting high, unrealistic goals makes you end up feeling like a failure.

So go ahead and set 3 resolutions at the maximum for yourself for 2014. 

As I always say, I have a good feeling about this year.. :) 










Monday, 26 August 2013

It All Begins At The Top

It all begins at the top. At the government level. If there wasn't so much need for peddling our taxes and creating secret bank accounts, the cops would be paid well with that money. They would in turn be inspired to do their job efficiently and strengthen the security and law and order of this country.  Our infrastructure would be good and strong. There would be more provisions for the poor and homeless. The citizens would be happy and not feel cheated. If the country as a whole is happy and functioning well, the economy would grow.

But the change needs to occur at the top of the pyramid. Instead of prioritising who makes the mega bucks while still in power, and then adopting an attitude of 'I don't give a rats ass now that I've made my million bucks," focus on how to bring about change on a macro level should be the priority. How to make a real difference, by realising that their actions would impact the entire nation. The money they keep does not belong to them.

The cleansing, the sifting, all begins at the core. We could start with voting in an Indian Obama!



Sunday, 28 July 2013

Life as we see it Today

You know you're at complete peace with yourself when you can stay home on a Saturday night with a book or movie, and not worry about the party you're not invited to or the bar appearance you have to make with your friends. There comes a point in your life when all the rest of the stuff that used to matter is meaningless now. With time, priorities change.

Curling up on a couch with your plus one and a movie is so much more tempting that battling a crowd to get into the next popular club. Or sitting at home reading the news or an interesting book. People have become so much more conscientious about the way they spend their time. Even it means going with a group of friends to a house party; you're devoting time to meaningful relationships rather than meaningless strangers at a bar.

I am sure a few would beg to differ, and adventure is all they live for. But a point will come in their lives when all of this will become meaningless for them. Everyone has a different threshold level of burning themselves out, and they arrive at it at different points of their lives.

Today time has become a scarce commodity. More than hiring a secretary to answer your phone, you need to hire someone for optimum management of your time! So many things to be done, so many side passions to pursue, but the 24 hours in a day don't seem enough. Then comes trying to divide your time between your loved ones, and there are days you wish you could clone yourself!

For this fast paced thing we call 'Life' one needn't be in New York or Bombay anymore. It's pretty much the same everywhere. More selfish time; less time for others.

But the way I look at it it, this time never comes back. And life with a line of regrets isn't life lived to the fullest at all.

Nurture your relationships with your loved ones and friends, because one day you might wake up and realize that everybody has moved on. The good moments and times you 'could have' had with them will not come back. A life without meaningful relationships, no matter how successful, is a lonely one.

And living your life by 'Coulda' 'Shoulda' 'Woulda' is not living at all!